buat meok

sang gadis pulang membawa perasaan, yang jatuh berserak di jalanan pulang. yang terserak dipunguti anjing-anjing jalanan, untuk diberikan pada anak-anak mereka: “makan kita hari ini.” yang retak terserak, dimakan malam-malam panjang serupa. di antara udara dingin dan seru angin, di sela-sela ingatan yang tak meminta pudar. yang retak rusak terserak, tertumbalkan rindu yang tidak terseru. dideru motor-motor, mobil-mobil; disapu cahaya lampu dan debu-debu.
setelah senyum lesu, sang gadis kembali di ruang itu. yang tak tertembus neon. yang terhalang kelabu. ia tahu, apa yang terserak meninggalkan hampa. dan ia tahu, yang hampa hanya terisi serak air mata.

juli 2015

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the strange library, ini bukan review

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…nothing, really

 

“but, hey, this kind of thing’s going on in libraries everywhere, you know.
more or less, that is.”
– lelaki domba (bukan kambing)

begini: murakami mau bikin dongeng urban buat anak lelaki.

jadi dia tulis cerita anak laki-laki baru gede yang selalu penasaran tentang semua hal yang menarik minatnya. suatu hari dia kembalikan buku ke perpustakaan kota (‘bagaimana membangun kapal selam’ dan ‘memoar seorang gembala’) sembari berniat pinjam buku lain. “turun tangga belok kanan, ruang 107.” kata si ibu penjaga yang lain dari biasanya. di sana si anak ketemu bapak tua kecil, botak, dan sedikit bungkuk dengan sikap penuh otoritas yang agaknya kalau jadi guru dia bakal jadi bapak guru killer dengan muka lucu dan gerak-gerik aneh tapi tetap enggak ada yang berani menggosip tentang dia. nah, sehabis bilang mau pinjam buku tentang pemungutan pajak di kekaisaran ottoman, si anak disuruh si bapak tua baca di tempat saja. tapi rupanya si anak digiring untuk disekap.

sampai situ saja, nanti spoiler.

akan muncul juga lelaki domba (domba, bukan kambing) yang riang dan anak perempuan misterius yang rupanya bisu (dan mungkin hantu).

yang jelas, bukunya khas murakami, lengkap dengan situasi-situasi dan karakter-karakter sureal, perasaan terasing dan kesendirian, juga atmosfir cerita yang dingin dan gelap (atau karena ruang bawah tanah perpustakaan kota memang biasanya begitu), tapi ringan dibaca dan tetap memikat. ditambah ilustrasi dari buku-buku tua sungguhan (versi hardcover uk, setidaknya) yang bikin baca lebih asyik. desain bukunya malah dibuat seperti buku pinjaman perpustakaan–ini niat namanya. sekarang bayangkan kalau misalnya perpustakaan umum punya buku ini, lalu dipasangi lagi kartu info pinjam dan sebagainya. bakal kocak. karena bukunya singkat, enak buat dibaca berkali-kali, walaupun ceritanya enggak akan berubah seberapa kali pun dibaca.

buku ini mungkin juga semacam kiasan untuk kegiatan belajar dan sistem pendidikan secara umum–ah, tapi sepertinya berlebihan.

catatan #6

an evening on a train.

first, it was dusk. a fine bluish sky, dimmer and dimmer. i was just awake from one of my little naps. there were two men sat in the same seat group with me, and they were still talking. two strangers, they had been talking when i was boarding the train, and they talked about how our railway services have gone better, and about the future of our railway services and how unpleasant it was in the past to travel with train–especially with the third-class ticket. they would also talked about fragments of their lives, but i couldn’t remember much. there were also a small family, with one young infant child–i couldn’t make it out whether it was a boy or a girl (it was a girl)–they sat across the aisle. i didn’t took much attention to what they were talking. some normal familial stuffs, i guess. and an old man sat along with them, stared outside in silence.

then it was dark outside, save for occasional dots of light from the houses along the way. i stared outside, and here and there lights would dot the farthest landscapes, on the hillsides and the valleys, and the mountainous terrains; clustered in small groups of white neon lights and yellow mercury or huddled together in large hives of city lights. sometimes, when i see the lights, i wondered how would you reach there, and what would you see if you are looking here from there, and what would the lights come from: a house? a small hut in the middle of a rice field? a small village house built from bilik? a local school? a cattle ranch? a plantation office? or perhaps a series of townhouses, huddled together in a tight row? and sometimes when i see the lights, i thought that they were our attempt to mirror the stars, where sometimes they would flickers and group themselves in certain configurations and form their own distinctive constellations, and how they would appear during the night and disappear from our view during the day.

just like stars do.

(jul 31, 2014 evening. aboard a train home from banjar, jawa barat)